Why you shouldn’t trust your feelings in relationships
When you make a commitment to yourself to find love, be cautious of relying on your feelings to guide you. One of the biggest mistakes I made in my love life was letting my feelings drive my love decisions. Love was, after all, a feeling, right?
When I felt “chemistry” with someone, it was always with the unavailable man. Of course, the nice guys would give me no feeling at all. My feelings led me to my familiar pattern of heartache and eventually I couldn’t trust myself in selecting a mate.
Many teachers instruct their students to use their feelings to tell them which way to go in life. But your emotions are from the ego, based on human conditioning, not from the divine. When you listen to your feelings, you are listening to your ego.
We are conditioned to retreat in fear and move toward what feels good. The ego doesn’t like change so it naturally trains you to retreat when things get uncomfortable. If you want to change something in your life (like attract a healthy relationship or step into a new career), you are going to feel uncomfortable.
You may have been told to follow the path of least resistance, follow your bliss and use your emotions as a guidance system. Unfortunately, this ego-controlled guidance system is designed to keep you in the status quo. If you only go on the easy path, you will end up going nowhere.
Your ego always steers you toward magical thinking and encourages you to find a quick fix rather than a long-term, lasting relationship. The ego directs you to settle for good enough out of fear of being alone. Worse, it keeps you in an unhealthy situation because it is familiar not because it is good for you.
The path of least resistance leads to the path of least existence.
If you want a safe, predictable life, then by all means stay where you are. The status quo is good enough; it kept you alive and safe for all these years so why not just keep it up? Why bother changing? This is your over-rated comfort zone.
The reason we feel unhappy with our life circumstances is because it was programmed into us, it wasn’t our choice. Our emotional responses were conditioned by opinions of others, our family, our peers and our culture.
By default, you end up attracting your conditioning but you always have the power to break the cycle passed down from generation to generation. You are not locked into any relationship pattern. You have a choice.
Everyone has that deeper knowing that there is something more to life, but few have the courage to step outside of their habits to change. The silent push is always there to compel you to become more.
When you are led by how you feel, you are reacting to survive rather than actively creating. You give up too soon, you talk yourself out of something that could make a big change in your life and, worse, you blame your results on external conditions. When your fear of change is confronted with divine forces to grow, resistance appears.
Resistance is not bad, but necessary to help you grow. You can move through change while you watch your feelings freak out a bit around it. Stop believing that these feelings know what is best and trust in a deeper, silent force within you that is calling you to be more in your life.
By trusting your higher self rather than the feelings of your ego, you can reach any dream you desire. The resistance creates the friction that propels you forward. Through the friction you gain knowledge, wisdom and strength to prepare you for what you really want so you are truly ready to receive it.
So, instead of backing down when things get tough remember that the “tough get going.” Once you move beyond the fear, you will see that there is nothing but LOVE on the other side. You move beyond the fickle emotions of your ego and feel that divine love that is much more powerful and constant – where true love resides.