Why success in business but not love?
When I was in the corporate world, I knew exactly what I needed to do to be successful in the traditional sense. I knew that to do well there was certain education and skills required. The rules of corporate America were very clear. You do your job and you get paid. You do your job well and then you get promoted and paid more.
It makes sense to apply this methodology to finding love. The self-help industry has totally fallen into this trap as well. If you follow the three or seven or ten steps in a particular modality, you will find love. If you have the right “skills” you can catch a partner.
You may have been taught that following the dating rules, behaving according to the expectations of society (what men or women want), will lead you to love. You advertise yourself with the perfect profile and pictures to attract the appropriate audience. So, why does this type of marketing work in business but not in dating?
The difference is that you are dealing with love not logic.
You have been trained to become successful in business since kindergarten. Do your homework, fall in line with the winners, make the right friends and you will make it to graduation. You were rewarded for your logic, intellect and achievements (even in sports), but not for quality of relationships you have in your life.
You learned about relationships from your family, your peers and pop-culture. You were never officially trained or taught about your psyche in school and about what makes a great marriage. This information is left on default and you are still trying to apply logic to combat your relationship conditioning.
To turn things around in your love life, you must take a fresh step outside of the paradigm of your business success and approach your knowledge of self in completely different way. In business you learn to acquire more knowledge, in self-development you unlearn your acquired knowledge and let go of ideas that you have outgrown to reveal you true identity.
In order to find true love, you must see yourself beyond the mask of your business persona and discover your true self who is vulnerable and open to great love. You have great courage in reaching career goals and you can harness that strength to take you on the inner journey to bring your unconscious to consciousness.
The path of self-knowledge is not a cookie-cutter approach. There is no finish line because it is a life-long process. Sometimes you can’t measure where you are on a spreadsheet or graph, but that is the point. You are already perfect, you just have to be willing to see the amazing you that is already there and the people you meet will reflect that back to you. This is love, not logic.