What are you tolerating in your love life that leads to heartache?
There are two things that drive your behavior, a belief that you have no control over your life or the belief that you do. Everything you choose stems from your personal belief system, which creates your external results. If things aren’t the way you want them in your love life, then look at what you are just tolerating because you believe that you don’t deserve better.
Your choices in relationships give a direct order to your subconscious saying, “this is what I want.” So, when you settle for a man who doesn’t call or put up with behavior that is hurtful, you are unconsciously saying I choose this for myself.
Most people focus on the idea that their man should know better and feel he’s the one who needs to shape up. But, the guy isn’t doing anything to you without your permission. You are choosing to tolerate the behavior.
But, “I love him” I hear all the time. Love is not painful, stressful or anxious. When you feel powerless in a relationship or with someone you just started dating, your ego is infatuated with an idea, not the person. You project a mirage of a potential dreamboat while ignoring the truth of his actions. This is not love, but intoxication of the ego.
To create boundaries with others is really to develop those boundaries within you. How you allow others to treat you is a reflection of how you truly honor yourself. Do you tolerate your inner critic constantly putting you down? Do you keep running back to old boyfriends who disregard to your feelings? If you feel like you aren’t getting the love you want, then it is time to take stock on what you have been tolerating for less than you deserve.
A powerful stand can be taken when you decide what you really want and refuse to settle for less. Let go of the fear that if you let someone out of your life, you will be alone forever or no one will come in to replace him or her. You may find it hard to leave the familiar so you must bridge faith that there is more available to you on the other side.
When you tolerate something whether it is a smelly old car, minimal paycheck or unhealthy relationship, it reduces your self-esteem and draws in the walls of limitation in your mind. Believing you are powerless to the external forces, you allow the forces reflect back to you and think of it as fate. You don’t realize that you are the cause of these lack situations.
It isn’t your fault. You probably learned to accept little or nothing from your upbringing. You may have been taught through words and demonstration to put up with bad behavior or that you aren’t worthy of greatness. It isn’t their fault either because they probably had those ideas passed down from their parents. But…you can end the cycle and begin to start a new wave of empowerment in your life.
Make a list of things in your life that you aren’t pleased with and that you feel you are settling for less in your life. This can be your negative thinking, stress, material items, people and even your body.
Then, take immediate action. Clear the clutter, dump the ex-boyfriend who keeps resurfacing for booty calls and make a commitment to get to that darn gym. These small but powerful actions speak volumes to the unconscious mind telling it that you are serious about what you want. The unconscious will start learning what you want by your new behavior and bring you new experiences, new types of men and more motivation to keep working out to stay healthy.
The action taker is confident, knows who and what she wants and never settles for less. She doesn’t tolerate bad behavior or living a mediocre life. It may be uncomfortable the first time you start taking that stand, but it becomes easier as you continue to support and love yourself completely in all that you do. It is in this place that true, lasting relationship can form and you won’t feel like you are settling but won the jackpot of love.
I heard this great quote, “Nothing unworthy of God is unworthy of you.” Make that your mantra because you are a divine being and you were born worthy. Let go of what no longer serves you so you can make room for a “man upgrade” to enter your life. Be bold, be strong, be your true self.