Throw out the Dating Rules
Throughout my single life, I heard some of the most outrageous dating tips. Many of which make the single person feel like they are playing a game or acting a part to catch a person or fool them into being their husband/wife. The sad part about this advice is that it may temporarily give you the upper hand in the relationship and make the person pursue you but, if you don’t have the goods to back it up, the object of your affection will be gone when they realize your act was just a façade.
I have to admit some of the advice can help, but many times my clients find themselves asking the question, “Am I following the rules?” Wondering about the right thing to do, they feel anxiety over their decisions about calling, responding or accepting dates at the last minute. Love is complicated enough without having a rigid handbook on how to manage a relationship so that you can reach the desired outcome of finding “the one.”
My advice is to throw out everyone else’s rules and come up with your own. Do what feels right to you as long as you are being respected. You get to decide what behavior is appropriate and the style of the person you wish to have in your life. If you are spontaneous, you may not want to wait 2.5 days to return the call or make sure they give you five days advance to accept a date. In the end, you are the one to decide what feels right to you which puts the responsibility back on you (instead of blaming a mistake on a dating book).
So, how do you come up with your rules? Think about what makes you happy when you are dating someone. Is chivalry important or maybe you would be fine with someone who messes up but has honorable intentions? In the end, you can both break all the rules and find yourself completely and intensely in love. Your own inner guidance will show you the way and sometimes our biggest blunders in dating teach us what we really want in mate.
Do you want to play games the remainder of your life or do you want someone that you can be open and honest with? Would it be wonderful to feel the freedom to make mistakes and show your vulnerable side? If you truly love yourself unconditionally that means that you love yourself without condition, whether you are perfect or make mistakes. You will find that when you come from the place of full self-acceptance, you will be drawn to someone who feels the same way. He won’t want you to pretend to be anyone else; he will simply love you as you are.
If you find that you are stuck in a pattern of making mistakes, there may be something blocking you from loving yourself unconditionally. Start within and find ways to treat yourself lovingly beginning with your self-talk and reinforcing self-love with your actions. Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of the relationship with yourself. If you choose love for you, you will find that your Mr. or Ms. Right will be drawn to you automatically.