The path to true love isn’t always comfortable
You may think that being single can be the most uncomfortable position to be in life (well, next to childbirth). Having to date, getting to know strangers, wondering if they are going to call and even finding a date for your best friend’s wedding can be challenging. However, this single experience is a slight discomfort compared to courage it takes to open your heart to true love.
I hear people tell me all the time about how committed they are to finding love, but their actions clearly do not match up to what they say. They want to date but have tons of excuses as to why they shouldn’t date online or how there are no places to meet men. Instead, they would rather complain about their situation and remain powerless to fate.
The only reason you are single is because you tolerate it. You tolerate it because there is something you fear greater than being alone. Until you find out what that is, it will direct your love life and the ego will keep sending you those lovely non-committal men to keep you distracted.
True commitment is about doing whatever it takes, regardless of how uncomfortable it may feel. Comfort and change do not co-exist in the same space. The willingness to move through that discomfort is in direct proportion of your level of commitment.
If your relationship results are mediocre, then you must look within to find out where you stop yourself short. In what areas are you trying to take the easy road to avoid discomfort. The ego’s job is to keep you in your comfort zone and avoid the tough stuff with rational justifications that sound really reasonable.
Love is always on the other side of fear. As long as you seek comfort, you will always be alone or settle for an average relationship. A higher-relationship will reveal all of you, especially the places you hide from yourself and others. The reason you may fear this higher love is not because the other person is scary, but because you are afraid to see your own nakedness.
The ego will try to pull you back to a safe mediocrity in a twisted way to protect you from the vulnerable place of opening your heart. The only way to transcend the fear is to embrace all parts of you with love. Loving yourself isn’t just about buying flowers or treating yourself to a massage, but about being willing to look at those unpleasant traits and emotions without trying to clear them away. And, by knowing the powerful truth about you is so much larger than your little personality traits.
Is dating online a challenge? Does it feel uncomfortable to put yourself out there and admit you want love? Do you feel ashamed to reach out and ask for help because you are afraid of what you will find? Think of something this week that feels really uncomfortable that would help you find true love and DO IT.
No one is going to coddle you and tell you its safe, and no one is going to help you walk through that door of fear. You must walk through it alone. When you move through to the other side, you will find are others who are also as courageous as you. You will definitely see a difference in the men (or women) you meet on the other side of fear. You will discover walking through wasn’t as scary as you imagined and that the other side is where true love lives.