The gift of your gremlin to finding love
You know, there are so many silly self-help terms that just keep people stuck. One of those terms is this idea of the “inner gremlin.” The part of you that chatters away about how you aren’t enough, will never find love, are too fat, too poor, too old, and not talented. Many teachers make it into a terrible creature out to destroy your life. They want you to slay, destroy or just ignore this enemy, but this will only keep you in your same conditioned pattern.
Everything we do is to avoid that negative voice. We think if could just think positive all the time, everything in life would be peachy. It is the Gremlin’s fault that we don’t have love, don’t have enough money or have enough happiness. Bad Gremlin, be gone!
The positive-thinking movement started a war on negative thought. Even when I was trained as a hypnotherapist they told us to destroy the negative thoughts, clear them from your mind or re-frame them into something positive. This sounds reasonable from a logical standpoint, but it doesn’t make any sense when you have a deeper spiritual understanding of the nature of the mind.
The gremlin they refer to is really your ego and it isn’t going anywhere. As long as you have a human mind, your gremlin will be alive and kicking along with you. What frustrates most people is that they try to get rid of it and they can’t. Then, then feel bad about having this voice and beat themselves up even more for thinking negative. It is all a vicious cycle of self-flagellation.
When you think you have it together and push down the thoughts, the negative voice starts showing up by reflecting back in others’ criticism toward you – your dates, your boss, your friends are all repeating those same nasty ideas. You cannot escape it no matter how hard you try. The good news is that when become aware of the gremlin you can make changes in your life, fears and limitations are no longer hidden but right in front of you so you can face them.
Here is a big secret. You can find love, have money and success with a big, fat gremlin voice. Isn’t that a relief? The voice isn’t the problem, it is that you believe the voice and let it run your life like a wild, untamed animal. Just like the crazy man on the corner saying the world is going to end isn’t ruining your day, your chatter can be ranting and raving but it doesn’t stop you.
Here’s a bigger secret. I have a HUGE negative chatter voice. People often look at me and think “she must have the most peaceful mind”…not. My mean-self creature is right there sitting on the edge of my bed, waiting for me to come back to consciousness in the morning to remind me how I suck at everything. Good morning!
No matter how much external success in relationships and career I experience in my life, the voice never changes. The negativity is just as present as ever but…the difference is that I see through the chatter and continue the practice of not to get emotionally triggered by it all the time.
Are there times when the “gremlin” takes me down a dark path? Yes, but when he does, it was a path I needed to be on to grow and see the delusion of his ideas. It is in the darkest parts of our mind that the gift of freedom can be found. Not by avoiding or clearing it away, but by going deeper into the fear that the gremlin is conjuring up and then you can realize everything is all just smoke and mirrors.
You see the gremlin is really your ego, trying to protect you and keep you safe. It is like the great powerful Oz who looks so daunting on the big screen with good intentions to project a certain image. But, when you get closer you see that he is just a little man pulling levers trying to keep everything together in the status quo. When you pull back the curtain, you become free and you life starts to become more expansive into possibilities rather than fearful limitations. The gremlin can still play his little games, but you aren’t going to be driven by him.
So, instead of making this year about thinking positive 100%, why not give 49% to the negative voice. Let him have his fun and pay attention when he is freaking out so you can move toward the gold he has hidden. Wake up tomorrow and greet him with a smile and thank him for showing you where you stop yourself so you can create the life you want.
You don’t have to be a perfect thinker to create a life you love, just don’t believe everything you think.