The Difference Between Giving Up or Letting Go in Searching for Love
If you have been searching for the love of your life for a while, you may have moments where you feel like just giving up. You hear that advice from your married friends, “It’ll happen when you stop looking” and wonder how the heck you can stop looking for something you really want. With mixed opinions on what to do and how to think, no wonder everyone is confused as to the key to attracting what you want in life. Through my single years I gave up many times. I settled for less than I deserved just so I wasn’t alone. That was giving up on real love. I found this particularly the case when I got engaged. I settled for someone I thought was “good enough” and gave up on having it all. Thank goodness, I didn’t go through with it. Other times I wouldn’t give my all in a personal development workshop. I looked for a quick fix and when I didn’t get a fast result, I just gave up. I was like a little two year old who couldn’t get her toy. I wanted it and I wanted it now, but I didn’t want to make myself uncomfortable enough to make the change. There is a big difference between giving up and letting go and the difference is faith. A great definition of faith is “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” If you give up, you are saying, “I don’t believe I get this.” In letting go, even in the absence of evidence, you believe in your heart that you get what you want. In that faith, you can let go of the struggle and act with conviction. I am sure the question is burning in your mind right now, “How do I have faith when I never had love in my life? How do I believe when I don’t have anything to show me?” So, you have two choices. You can give up and choose the path that I almost did and settle for less or settle for being alone. This will give you a predictable future based on the past. Or, you can have faith and open up to the possibility where a new experience of relationship is waiting for you. We have been given free will and the choice is yours. Do you want to choose faith or give up? If you choose faith, you can let go of the doubt and focus on what you want. Instead of obsessing that love isn’t going to happen and being afraid to get hurt, you can let go and relax and create love in your heart from a more open and expansive place. In essence, the only struggle you wrestle with is the doubt and fear within your mind. Faith and fear cannot co-exist in the same moment. Of course, it is okay and normal to have a little doubt. You are not super-human. So my rule of thumb is that just hold faith 51% of the time to bring the love you want into your life. I almost gave up many times and had good reasons to with all the heartache I experienced. I had enough. But I listened to that soft voice inside that said love is possible. He is out there looking for you too. Letting go doesn’t mean stop taking action. It is the action aligned with faith that brings you the love you want. That is how love found me and will find you too.