Single & Lonely – Who would trade places with you?
I know it is tough being single and lonely. I’ve been there for so many years and I can totally sympathize with my clients and customers who tell me how frustrated they are in their search for true love. Yesterday I visited a childhood friend who was diagnosed with cancer, and her predicament made me think about an important aspect of life. No matter how much you feel as though you are suffering, there is someone out there who would trade places with you in a minute!
Knowing that someone is suffering more than you isn’t really the point. The reality is that everyone suffers in life and the root of all suffering is worrying too much about yourself. When I was single, I have to admit I was extremely selfish. I couldn’t be happy for others who found love because I had gotten so bitter about my own selfish needs. I think back now about all the wasted years I spent worrying over my stupid single predicament when I could have been doing something more productive.
The Buddhists believe that the antidote to suffering is service to others. When you are feeling frustrated in your love life, the best thing you can do is find someone out there who needs you. You have beautiful gifts to give to the world and you don’t have to wait until your dream man or woman shows up to share them. Right after I broke my engagement, I started to sponsor a young girl in India (a Tibetan refugee) to support her education. It was such a joy to receive her letters each month and feel the connection of another human who my little investment had made a huge impact on her future. Ten years later, we still write every month and I hope to visit India one day to meet her in person.
By sharing who you are right now with someone who can appreciate you will boost your self-confidence and increase the flow of love all around you. Even if you have a busy work schedule, you can always find a little time to give back to your community. Volunteering is a great venue to meet really quality people and possibly a mate as well. If not time, you can also donate money, old clothing or jewelry to a worthy cause. I can promise you there is no shortage of opportunities to give.
Remember that even though you don’t have your ideal mate yet, there are so many women and men who would rather deal with your dating issues than poverty, homelessness, rape, war and even life-threatening illnesses like cancer. Take a moment today and see how lucky you really are. Be in gratitude for the wonderful gifts you have and share yourself others. Who would trade places with you? I am sure some people in earthquake-ravaged Haiti think you have it all.