Rubber Band Effect in Personal Growth
Have you ever noticed that when you start to make a change in your life, it seems like things get worse, not better? You make a commitment to get out there to date and you are immediately faced with many wrong matches, rude emails or even terrible boring dates. You decide to save money to splurge on a retreat and you get that unexpected bill in the mail or your car breaks down. You feel like it is just bad luck, but really you are facing the rubber band effect of personal growth.
Time and time again I see people face this challenge. You think that when you make a commitment to improve your life, that it will…improve. Instead, you probably have experienced a string of set-backs and obstacles that make you wonder if your goal for love or success is even worth it.
Here is what is really happening. You are moving out of your comfort zone and the fears that kept you there for so long are going to rear their heads to tempt you to go back to safety. You are stretching like a rubber band and feeling the resistance of your ego-self.
Your ego is in charge of your survival. If you weren’t afraid of new things, you would probably not be alive today. Although handy in keeping you safe from mortal danger, the ego doesn’t know the difference between a life-threatening situation and an imagined fear.
As you stretch yourself, the strength at first is in the resistance of the band. If you aren’t really committed to your goal, the band will bounce back at any sign of discomfort. Sometimes it feels like the world is against you and everything can be going wrong, but that is just a false perception. Your ego is making up stories to get you to retreat. Most of the time, the ego wins. That is why people find it hard to change.
If you want to move beyond your conditioned past relationship patterns, you must face the discomfort of the resistance and WELCOME IT. Anyone who tells you there is an easier way is selling you snake oil. You must move through the resistance to build your mindset muscle to handle the new life you want.
The rubber band conditions you to expand your consciousness and is actually an ally in moving you forward. Disguised as the enemy, this stretching and pulling builds your character, your confidence and courage so you can be ready to receive what you want.
Did you know that the majority of lottery winners lose all of their earnings or go bankrupt? That is because they didn’t go through the resistance to grow to the place where they can be a wealthy person. Just like love, you need to go through the tough spots of growth so you can be ready and open to a great love.
Next time you search for the easy button, remember that you aren’t doing yourself any favors. No person can come into your life to change you. If you meet someone before you have gone through a transformation, you will end up back repeating the same patterns.
The rubber band effect is a way for you to shed old layers of your old self to step into your true essence. When you generate enough strength during the times of resistance, you can break the rubber band and step into a fresh new you. You become the person who has an open-hearted relationship, never to return to the old ways again.