Price of Impatience in Dating
When you are ready for love (or at least think you are), you turn on the “go” button and start looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. Sometimes this happens early in your twenties, while others wait until they hit thirty-five before they start to freak out that they are still single. Almost immediately after that light goes off inside of you, the impatience begins. You could have been perfectly okay with your life the day before, but now all of a sudden your mind is telling you to start doing something now to make love happen.
That light turned on for me in my early twenties when I was in six weddings in one year. Every one of the brides yelled my name when the bouquet toss was about to happen and, yes, I caught all six. That year, I went from enjoying my single life to dreading another weekend alone without a boyfriend. This desperate need for love was a repellent to men and I found myself at thirty-five after another traumatic break-up of a two-month affair feeling like love was never going to happen to me. I really felt that life wasn’t worth living if I was going to spend the rest of it all alone.
The journey of all those years led me to a deeper spiritual understanding of myself and at thirty-five I believed that I was ready for the real thing. It was at that point when I met a man I’ll call Ed. Ed was spiritual, good-looking, educated but came on way too strong for me. I was so desperate to get out of my single life that I forced myself to try to like him. I thought I would never find anyone else who would love me and Ed seemed to be so crazy about me that I couldn’t possibly screw this one up.
After about two months, I decided that I was in love with Ed. At four months, we moved into together and at six months we were engaged. I was ignoring my gut feelings that something was not right; pushing them away thinking this is my last chance. I needed this to work because even though he isn’t the love of my life, being with him was better than being alone. When he put my gorgeous engagement ring on my finger, I felt a sickness inside of me. I experienced the same dread shopping for my wedding dress. This was supposed to be the most exciting time of my life and I felt a huge emptiness inside and secret despair that I wouldn’t even share with my closest friends.
We put off the wedding the first year because I had divine intervention step in (won’t go into that story now). By the time the second wedding date rolled around, he decided he didn’t want kids and I was upset and relieved at the same time when we decided to part ways. I was two years older and now I had to venture out into the singles world and start my search all over again.
When I look back at this time, I realize that I was trying to force love to happen when I wasn’t ready for it. I made a choice based on fear instead of on my heart. Some may say that everything happens for a reason but the reason it happened was because I was not in alignment with my true self. Two years of my childbearing years gone – that was the price I paid for my impatience. There are two ways to do things, the easy way and the hard way. This was one of those times when I did it the hard way.
I am telling you about this because I want you to have the easy route. I made these mistakes because my ego wanted something like a child screaming for ice cream. I forgot that there is a deeper divine part of me that is wiser than my human self and can make higher level decisions. This unlimited part of me doesn’t have a deadline but wants the best for me. If I only relaxed and listened to my heart, I would saved myself a lot of pain and heartache.
In my work, my mission is to prepare you for the greatest love of your life, not promise to deliver just any person in an allotted amount of time. Some people get frustrated in the process and become impatient but I know that they will understand when their true love finally arrives. I get emails all the time with pictures of the most amazing people who found each other. They all tell me that their ideal person was definitely worth the wait. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is great love.
Of course, this process isn’t for everyone. Some people just want another person to keep the other side of the bed warm, and there is nothing wrong with that. But, for those of you who want an extraordinary love, patience is the key. You can be your best self and make the wisest decisions when you are not under pressure. Remember, every time you have doubt and desperation, it is like pushing what you want away from you. When you have faith, your love is drawn closer to you. If you do nothing else, focus on that one idea.
You have two choices. There is the hard way, disguised as quick fixes and forcing things to happen which ultimately delays the arrival of true love. Or, you can do it the easy way, allowing your wiser self to guide you no matter how long it takes, trusting that you get everything you ever wanted and more. I know that most of you believe deep down that that the reason you haven’t settled for just anyone is because you know that you deserve amazing love. The more you relax and trust, the easier love can find you.