It is not your dating style, it is your dating picker that keeps you from love.
Ok, so many dating tips out there will tell you what you did wrong on a date and the deadly mistakes that keep you single. Don’t be too fat but don’t be too skinny. Don’t be too rich but don’t be too poor. Don’t talk about your job, but do talk about your career. Be interesting, wait, be interested. No, act cool. Enough of that already.
The real reason you don’t have the love you want isn’t how you acted on a date. It isn’t because you said the wrong thing or that you smiled at the waiter. It isn’t because you texted him after the date to thank him. It isn’t because you slept with him too soon.
Truth. You picked someone who would leave you before you even went out. Before you even spoke to this person, your mate selection mechanism was set on heartache.
There is an unconscious part of you that draws you to particular people who match something that triggers a familiar feeling. You think it is chemistry when the fireworks go off but what is actually happening is that your inner drama girl is having a field day. She is bored with the nice guys and craves the attention from the man who acts disinterested.
Most people think they will never have chemistry with someone nice and that could very well be true. If they don’t change their mate selection mechanism, they will unconsciously go to the same heartache every time. Ignoring the obvious red flags, they believe this time it will be different, but nothing changes.
To key to having true love is to discover this mechanism in your subconscious (we call it your Inner Adam or Eve) that fits like a puzzle piece with potential partners. You don’t have to change how you act, your clothes, your weight or your personality, you just need to shift your piece of the puzzle.
When your puzzle piece changes, you will see the men (or women) in your life start to change as well. You can have CONSCIOUS CHEMISTRY with someone who will want commitment and love just like you. You will feel the fireworks but it won’t be followed by a night with Ben & Jerry’s, unless you and your love enjoy sweet treats together.
There are a few ways to change your picker. Your unconscious mind is always giving you clues on what to do and how to change it. It keeps bringing you heartache to show you where you are at so you can make an adjustment. You may not have known that you can change it before today.
- Look for common themes in your relationships and see where the pattern had its roots. Try to identify the underlying fear of actually getting close to someone. Face the fear so you can break the pattern.
- Pay attention to your dreams. Your dreams are a treasure of insight and information to guide you on your journey to your desires. They speak to you in symbolic language so you need to journal about them and follow your inner guidance.
- Visualization. Work with your unconscious mind by facing the part of you that is the picker. Ask it questions.
- Inner Dialogue with Journal. Ask your picker questions via automatic writing. Trust the answers that come to you.
- Get a guide. Hire a coach that specializing in subconscious work. This is the fastest way to get your picker aligned with love.
Once you shift inside even slightly, you will see a huge difference in your attraction to people. You may even notice more opportunities show up to meet nice guys and friends who come out of nowhere to introduce you to someone.
You don’t have to worry about saying the right things or playing the dating game. Your picker, if well-tuned, will always give you the exact match of your greatest desire for love. Isn’t that much easier than wondering if you should wait three days to call him?