How Do I Love Myself?
By Debra Berndt, Certified Hypnotic Love Coach
Many people know that they should love themselves to find greater peace but do not know how to attain that state. As children we learned to seek love, comfort and support from our parents or caregivers. Our minds have been conditioned that if someone “out there” would just hold us, we would feel much better. Beneath all of our earthly desires is simply the yearning to feel peace.
As adults, we look for love in other people, social status and material things. Some feel so despondent that they give up and settle for second best, like a cheeseburger, glass of wine or the guy at the end of the bar who does not look that bad. After indulging in temporary fixes, we get more depressed because they still do not satisfy us. I used to think that when I met “the one,” he would solve all of my problems and I would finally be happy. This led to an endless cycle of heartbreak after heartbreak, feeling less desirable, until I decided to stop looking out in the world and began my internal search for love.
During the past few years, I created a successful hypnotherapy practice, bought a new home, have great friends, good health and a loving man in my life. It would seem as though I should be happy with all these things, but I know that it all could all be gone in an instant. No matter what I can create with my mind to attract into my life, I still have no control over events or the actions of others. The thought that “this will make me happy” or “that will make me sad” is what causes the suffering in our minds, not the actual person or life condition that we placed so much importance. Even after we get what we think we want, we still have the fear of losing of them. The key to peace is not what we get out of life, but the ideas that we are willing to let go of to find love.
The thoughts in our subconscious mind convince us to believe that love is only in certain places, things and circumstances. We get depressed because our minds tell us that our life should be different. We should be married, happily in love or getting that promotion. True inner peace is always inside, regardless of external situations. By becoming present to our thinking and actively choosing our thoughts, we stop those old subconscious tapes from running on autopilot that tell us otherwise. The real challenge is that we are living in a world where everyone collectively believes in external gratification, so it is easy to fall back into old patterns. There will be times when we believe our thoughts and the ideas of the world, and other times when we manage to break free and experience inner peace.
You can access the power right inside of you to change your world by simply changing your mind. When you consciously decide that love is always present, then love is easy to find.