Fear of Intimacy in Dating
Many singles think they want a relationship, but are really afraid of commitment and intimacy with someone who really cares for them. These hidden fears from past hurts and possible abuse have put an armor of protection around their heart. They reject available men who treat them nice, while they pine over their old boyfriends years after a breakup. The subconscious likes to keep things the same, so if your past patterns are about heartache and painful relationships, you are more than likely to perpetuate your experience into the future dating life…unless your change your subconscious.
The subconscious stores your past hurts and warns you of danger any time someone tries to get close. The unavailable men are “safe” to the subconscious because on a deep level you know you won’t be faced with the challenge of opening up to real intimacy with someone who is not available. Singles tend to run away from the “nice” people and lust for the bad boys and girls who cause them heartache. It is an automatic reaction, and you can feel powerless over this misguided sense of attraction.
You can change those fears by forgiving the people in the past that hurt you and be willing to move on to someone who will treat you kindly. It takes practice to distinguish real intuitive nudges to walk away, and false fears of actually being open to an intimate relationship. I created the Allowing Intimacy program to help singles let go of past hurts and allow real love into their future. Flooding the mind with new information of being worthy of love will support you in making the right choices in dating and give the “nice guys” a chance.