Do you worry that you won’t find love?
The real cause of heartache for singles whether they are just trying to get a date or starting a new relationship is worry. Am I ever going to meet him or her? Is someone out there for me? How is it going to happen? Is he going to call? Why isn’t he calling? Is she moving away and losing interest? Is he cheating?
Your thoughts are the foundation of your life. What you think is directly related to the results in your life. The problem with worry is that it takes your mind off the goal you want and focuses on what you don’t want to create. One of my teachers put it wisely, “Worry is faith in failure.” So every time you go down that doubtful road, you believe in the worst case scenario rather than having faith of achieving your true desire.
Have you ever noticed that things seemed to be going smoothly with someone new until you start to worry? Maybe you start to worry after your first intimate experience or the first time he skips a daily text or phone call. You feel powerless to him and start placing him up on a pedestal, waiting for him to make his move. You have lost your “mojo” and can’t seem to get it back.
You may worry that you can’t seem to find a connection to get an initial date. You stress every time you login to your online dating account worried that no one will be there. If you don’t get quality responses, you start to worry that you ever will. You may feel like no one is noticing you in social situations and worry that you are not attractive enough, good enough or healed enough for love.
Some may worry if they will get a breakthrough in their dating life. When they take a personal development course or work with a coach, they constantly worry if they are “doing it right” and if all their blocks are gone. One day of negative thinking sends them down a spiral of doubt, wondering if they will ever change their confidence and attitude about love.
Worry is a waste of your thoughts and actually attracts more of what you fear – loneliness, financial trouble, health problems and more. Test yourself. Take a moment and think about something you are worried about. Close your eyes and feel the energy in your body. Notice where your body is tight and how restricted the flow of energy becomes. What do you think you attract with that kind of energy?
Next, open your eyes and clear to go back to neutral. Then close your eyes again and imagine your best case scenario, that your goal is reached (whether love or money). Notice the difference in your energy. How does your body feel when focused on success? Doesn’t it make sense to be in that state of mind v. the tense one?
If you are a worrier, it isn’t your fault. The level of concern you have in life was programmed in you when you were very young by the people around you. Think about your early years and ask yourself who taught you how to worry? You were trained to cope with life through them but you aren’t destined to continue the pattern forever if you want to be free of it. You have a choice to alter your worry habit.
You may argue that you have plenty of evidence stacked up against you from past romantic failures to support your worry fears. I know it is hard to imagine success in love when you never had real love. But, just because you never had it doesn’t mean your future has to be the same as your past. Each moment gives you a fresh start so freedom is always just a thought away.
Changing a pattern of being like constant worry takes practice and doesn’t happen overnight or with a quick clearing technique. The shift typically requires about 30-90 days of mind training to get into new thought-behavior. Visualizing yourself as a success in love and feeling hopeful energy is something you should do every single day. Then, have a reminder to stay worry-free in the time outside of meditation such as having a mantra you say to yourself to stay on track. If you catch yourself spiraling down in doubt, instantly redirect your mind with a statement such as “I believe in love for me.”
You don’t have to be 100% positive, just 51% – a little more hopeful than all that worry. The happier and more trusting you are, the faster true love will arrive in your life. Do you have faith in failure or success? If you look backwards you will worry. Facing forward, you can open the door to all possibilities. The door is waiting for you that lead you to the thoughts that create your dreams.