Do you have poor expectations in dating?
Alexis had been single for a while and felt like there was no end in sight in her search for true love. She reluctantly dragged herself to single events and left each time feeling defeated. Every once in a while she would go out with a cute guy that she met online and have a fantastic time, but he would never call her for a second date. She constantly complained to her friends how hard it is to find love. After over three years of dating since her last real relationship, she wondered if her luck would ever change.
She questioned whether there was someone out there for her because the ones she liked didn’t seem to be interested in her and the ones that liked her were not even an option. She did her share of personal development and felt like she was really ready for the one, but was afraid to get excited about the possibility because she was so tired of being disappointed.
If you sound like Alexis, then you probably are dealing with one of the major hurdles to attracting anything you want in life and that is…low expectations. Sure, it sounds reasonable with all the evidence stacked against you that love could even happen, right? You may even justify your doubt with the idea that if it was going to happen, it should have happened already.
The way the law of correspondence works is that you always get out there was corresponds to how you feel inside. By having poor expectations you are actually facing backward, looking at what has been and expecting the future to be exactly the same. This will keep you in the cycle of being single for months, years or even decades if you don’t correct it.
To believe in the possibility of having someone completely love and adore you may seem unimaginable, especially if you have never been in love. Your mind will quickly try to figure out how it will happen, look at the past experience and bring to you the instant prediction, “Nope, not going to happen.” Then, you go out and try to find love and you create “not going to happen” over and over again.
So, how do you create great expectations rather than poor expectations? You need to stop listening to your mind! Your subconscious mind only sees what happened before and cannot predict the future. This thinking mind is a storehouse of the past and will just feed to you limited information. The chatter you hear inside your head is residue from the past and has nothing to do with your future.
I tell my clients to imagine that the wandering mind is one of those crazy people on the street talking nonsense. Most of the time your habitual thoughts tell you lies that you are not good enough, that person doesn’t like you, that person meant to hurt you, that you are getting too old, too fat, don’t have enough money, and so on. You hate those annoying critical relatives during the holidays, so why do you continue to listen to that nagging voice in your head?
In order to shift from fear to joyful anticipation, you must bring in your super-conscious (a higher power, higher self or infinite consciousness, whatever you want to call it). This is the unlimited mind that has access to all possibilities. By meditating on that possibility, seeing and feeling it happen, you will start to shift your thinking to have faith in your love destiny. As you weave new thoughts into the universal force, you bring what you are focusing on to you.
This change of attitude may seem difficult at first and many people give up when the person doesn’t arrive fast enough. The wise ones who don’t give up, are consistent with their practice, and continue to believe, are the ones who make their dream of true love a reality. You have two choices. One is to believe it is never going to happen and create that or believe you will find love and create that. Which one will you choose?