Dealing with Dating Setbacks
When I first started doing personal development work, I thought the path would lead me in an upward progression. I thought I would overcome a hurdle and never ever go back. I used to get that feeling after a great healing session or an inspiring workshop.
There were times in my life when I felt like I had arrived. Being overly confident, I thought my work was finished and all I had to do was sit back and wait for my true love to arrive. Without fail, something would happen to test my confidence and set me back.
When the new guy I was dating suddenly lost interest or when I was triggered by a friend’s comment about my dating choices, all of my confidence would drain out of me. I felt like I was back at the bottom of the staircase that led me out of my single days, only to look up at the long climb ahead wondering if I would ever reach the top.
When a setback happens, you may think that what you are doing isn’t working and give up or look for the next bright shiny object to heal you. It is important to maintain the perseverance to override the subconscious pull to keep you in the status quo. You may not know that what you think is a problem is really a necessary path to your success.
Any setback is truly the BRIDGE to the next step, not a barrier. Life doesn’t work in a linear upward fashion, but in a cyclical path. There are ebbs and flows in your growth as well as romantic relationships. Falling back is necessary before you make the next giant leap forward. It is important to have faith that you have God/Universe on your side.
When I broke my engagement, lost my job and moved into the basement of my cousin’s house, I thought my life was over. Everything I had planned was gone and I was left with no man and no plan. I picked up this quote that was so profound, it always reminds me of that time. “Never place a period where God has placed a comma. – Gracie Allen”
This was the biggest turning point in my life. I decided to do hypnotherapy and that led me to my book and my true love, Roberto and me writing here today and sharing my love with you. I finally let go of the desperation to be married because I came so close to making such a big mistake. I also felt that since I had nothing to lose, I could start my life fresh with a clean slate. The summer I spent with my cousin was filled with laughter and love. I was always supported even when things on the surface seemed to be falling apart.
So when you feel that slipping backward and doubt that nothing is going to change, see the comma. Learn from the slowdown or path adjustment by simply asking, “what is the gift here?” You may not get the answer right away, but if you keep pushing toward your goal, the gift will be revealed to you.
Embrace the dating setbacks because they are there to make you stronger and clear the way for big love. Just when you think everything is going wrong, you are probably closer than ever to the person (and life) of your dreams.