Create a New Love Future by Letting Go of the Past
One of the biggest hurdles to change is blaming your childhood for the things that aren’t working in your adult life, especially in relationships. The personal development industry was created from the therapy model. They make you believe that you have to heal your inner child, forgive your parents and care to your wounds so you can live a normal life.
There is a huge blame-game going on with parents. They were either too mean, too needy, had a bad marriage or didn’t pay any attention to you. You may have been led to believe that these parental why you don’t have the love or success in life that you desire.
The popular therapeutic approach is to heal these wounds of the past so you can move forward. Unfortunately, simply looking at these experiences as “wounds” are a big part of why you are stuck in your life. You focus on the past and you have no room to create something fresh in the future.
I’ve heard thousands of stories from my clients about their childhood. Some were quite horrific and others were relatively mild. What I found interesting is that the extremes of dysfunction had little to do with their progress in life. The poor, ignored rich kid was suffering much more than the daughter of a drug addict who was adopted by abusive parents.
Most therapy-based coaching and healing methods approach letting go of the past with a wounded perspective. This is not transcending the past, but merely re-arranging the furniture. You are either putting up a fresh coat of paint to hide the scars or magically “releasing” them someplace…where does all that stuff go anyway?
The parent is still the bad one, the child is still the wounded one but now some magical healing has taken place. Unfortunately, the story is still the same. Then the wounded healer uses their story as a way to serve some sort of purpose in life. I know this because this is how I lived for many, many years and never felt truly free.
A more enlightened approach to facing the past is to see beyond the story and just work with the emotional residue. The fears and the conditioned responses that hold you back in life are ALL the same for everyone. We just use our childhood story to make sense of them. In truth, everyone has fears and conditioned responses to stay in their comfort zone as a result of simply being born human.
Instead of looking at your past as a pathological issue, what if it was just an experience that wasn’t good or bad. What if everything you went through made you stronger, more resilient and more open to change? What if your past was a gift instead of a tragedy?
It is never too late to have a great childhood. Make it a great story because we need more hero’s in this world. From a clean state, this moment, you can create something fresh, alive and a story that you want to hear. That story will lead you to your destiny.