Are you searching for love with your ego?
If you have a poor track record in relationships, whether you always end up with a broken heart or have gone on hundreds of dates without finding the right connection, you may be searching for love with your ego. I am not referring to being egotistical, but to the pre-conditioned part of you that is subconscious and many times not aligned with your highest interest in life.
How do you know when it is ego or true love? Here are the top ten signs you are acting through ego:
- You are extremely impatient for love to arrive in your life.
- You have lots of anger or frustration around your search for a partner.
- You get jealous of others who are happy in relationships.
- You are more attracted to someone physically rather than emotionally.
- You fall apart when they don’t call, text or follow-up after a date.
- You get excited about every new potential person before you really get to know them.
- You are very judgmental when you look at profiles online or men.
- You have no faith that true love will happen and constantly complain about your lack of love.
- You hold back parts of yourself because you are afraid they won’t like things about you.
- You think that once you find someone, you will be happy.
If you are searching for love with love:
- You trust that your ideal person is worth the wait and that you divine self has your back.
- You are compassionate to yourself and others when growing emotionally and spiritually.
- You get filled with joy when others have success in love because you know it will happen to you too.
- You are not drawn to attractive men who are non-committal.
- You remember that you are the prize and if they don’t call, you simply say, “NEXT!”
- You enjoy getting to know someone and then decide if the match is good for you.
- You send love to everyone you see online and offline knowing that they are searching for love just like you.
- You always speak in possibilities about love and hold 51% or more faith that your partner is arriving.
- You are authentic on every date and don’t try to change to please someone.
- You feel good and look for a partner to share your happiness, not make it.
Many great teachers have said that fear and faith cannot exist in the same moment. When you are acting out of ego, your energy is filled with fear and doubt. When you have faith, your energy emanates love. Now you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know which of these two are more attractive, but we often fall into the pattern of fear unconsciously.
How do you escape the fear? You can’t simply clear or will fear away, you must face it. The truth is that you aren’t afraid of what you think, bring it to light and see what is really there. Sit with it, journal about it, allow it to talk to you and keep asking yourself this question, “What am I REALLY afraid of?” until you bypass the logical answers and get to the root of it. Ask the divine to intervene and give you insight.
Finding your partner isn’t going to erase the fear of being alone, just put a temporary band-aid on it. You have to release the fear before you meet someone or, eventually, it will find a way to come back with a vengeance by causing drama in your relationship and possibly lead you back to the single world again.
To truly love and be loved is a beautiful thing, something the ego doesn’t understand. So search for love with love and you will find a match that is beyond your dreams. This isn’t easy when you have been single for a while, but worth the practice so you find a love that lasts.