Are you just having superficial love breakthroughs?
Have you ever had that moment where you think you figured everything out? You feel like you can rule the world and nothing will stop you from getting the love you want. You hear something that make total sense or discover a part of you that you didn’t see before and think you are done with your process? Then, nothing changes. Welcome to the superficial breakthrough.
You can be the smartest person in the world and memorize every one of Oprah’s feel good quotes. You know you are spiritual and that you can create your life but something is not clicking in your results. It is as if you know better, but you are still living the same patterns.
Having a true breakthrough is the difference between indirect knowledge and direct knowledge. Indirect knowledge is a basic understanding of certain concepts on a conscious level. I knew that my dad influenced my romantic life and had many of those ah-ha moments, but I stayed single for ten years after that. Nothing seemed to really stick or make a drastic impact on my results.
Direct knowledge is when you have an experience of the idea. This type of knowledge is without words, hard to describe and comprehend logically. When you reach direct knowledge experience you feel an amazing surge of energy that seems to really get to the core of you.
In order to get to the direct knowledge you have to face your shadow. This is the difficult part and where most people stop. It is that “yucky” place where we have to face our fear and emotions that we just hate to be around. Everyone just wants to tap or clear these feelings away, to jump over or avoid them altogether. The ego loves this approach because it doesn’t help you change.
Trying to fix myself is why I stayed stuck for so long. I was running away from negativity and trying to be positive. I was attempting to heal myself superficially so I can be perfect enough for a man to love me. This approach only made me feel more broken. I was at the point where I didn’t want to do anymore digging into myself. I didn’t want another healer pulling out negative clouds of energy from me that was “blocking” me from love. I was exhausted.
The self-help industry was developed under the medical model of diagnosis and symptom healing. Many good-intended people are using superficial interventions, which have a powerful temporary placebo effect, not realizing that it is actually hurting more than helping.
The simple act of labeling something as negative gives it more power. I was feeling like a small little human trying to combat these huge overwhelming “negative” energies and emotions. The more I tried to clear them, the more they became a part of my shadow. I gave them the power to rule me, control my actions and drive my life.
The key to direct knowledge is going directly into the feeling or facing what you fear. Cultivating the courage to see the parts of you that you avoid will lead you to the doorway of love. You see, love is on the other side of these emotions that you are avoiding or trying to get rid of! You are trying to bypass the gift of the shadow.
Only the ego sees things as positive or negative, there is just energy. Your ego mind makes a story up about the feeling and assigns it to a life experience and makes it solid, real and heavy, good or bad. When you let go of the story, you see all you have left is pure energy, pure love that is at the heart of everything. Why would you want to clear or rid yourself of this beautiful light?
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. –Joseph Campbell
By addressing the shadow internally, you build strength to face anything the world gives you. The process brings you courage and wisdom. The next time you feel yourself on the edge of these emotions, keep going. Don’t run away or try to numb them out with a technique. They have a huge gift for you.
Each time you face a shadow, you open your heart even more. Instead of pushing love away, you are inviting more in. Imagine the freedom that would be available for you in your life and your romantic relationships if you weren’t intimated by your feelings. You wouldn’t be shrinking and running away anymore, but keeping your heart open and moving toward more life.